Kitsune & The Vacuum: A Love/Hate Relationship

Kitsune seems to hate the vacuum cleaner.

Every time I get it out, he slinks around the perimeter of the room with his ears askance, and every once in awhile he darts in to make a quick attack.

He actually does attack the vacuum cleaner.  He makes a high pitched half-bark, and dives in to bite it, right on the brush side, which can't feel very good (and is probably at least partly responsible for the fact that my vacuum cleaner brush spinners no longer spin very well).  I've tried to keep him from this hobby of trying to destroy the vacuum cleaner, which is why he slinks around the perimeter of rooms before he sneaks in his attacks.  He knows he's not supposed to do it.  It's as if he can't help himself.  I know now what the prelude to attacking the vacuum looks like, and when I see him even look like he's going to start, I tell him, "No!" and he trots off, only to circle back and try to sneak in again in another minute.

When the vacuum is off, and no one is touching it, he leaves it alone.  I know it's not necessarily the noise it makes that bothers him, because I've turned it off and pushed it aimlessly around as though I was still vacuuming with it, and he still darts up and tries to bite it.  So I'm at a loss, but something about the vacuum being pushed around on the floor makes my dog want to kill it.  I've already thought of and discounted the possibility that he's having fun playing a game.  He looks too agitated to be having fun.

Now, here's where things get interesting.

If I take the hose out, to use it, Kitsune wants me to vacuum him with it.

But he still wants to bite it periodically.  Just so it knows he still hates it.

I'll take the hose off and Kitsune will immediately come begging for a good vacuuming (which is great when he's shedding), and I'll start rubbing him down with the hose.  But he wiggles and squirms and leans into me while I'm doing it, so he gets stuck to it a lot.  He does not like that, and this is when he usually bites it.  He'll make a high-pitched noise that is almost, but not quite, a Shiba Scream, bite the vacuum hose, and then immediately do something stupid like stick his face on it, or lean his neck into it.  Thus the cycle starts over again.

Interestingly enough, although I'm holding and directing the vacuum cleaner hose, he never tries to bite me.  Only the vacuum cleaner.  It's evil, and must be ended, but it feels oh, so good.