A Tale of Two Dogs

One was the best of dogs. One was the worst of dogs.

Two Shiba Inus, brothers, went to live with their new families on the same night. Both families were non-dog households until the Shibas. Both families had one child. Both children were boys, the same age, a few months apart.

A few months later, the Shiba owners ran into each other. They compared notes. One family said their Shiba was great. He never chewed the furniture, he loved his kennel. Except for some submissive urination, he was easy to housebreak. The dog got along great with their son. The cat was another story, but it wasn't a big deal. The other couple described their dog as a nightmare. He could not be crated or he would howl until released. If he wasn't crated, he went on destructive rampages through the house. He had destroyed a couch, two dining room chairs and one leg of the dining room table. They had tried to keep him confined in a bathroom and he destroyed the flooring and walls. Their son was afraid of the dog, and the dog knew no commands and seemed completely unable to be trained.

How did two littermates end up with such drastically different lives?

The only difference between the two is that in one household, someone was home with the dog virtually all the time. In the other, both people worked 8 to 10 hours a day, and the dog was alone for that time. One family had unlimited time to spend with the dog, the other did not.

The lesson: Good dogs aren't born. They're made. And it takes time. (A whole lot of precious time.. you know you were thinking it, too.) Time is the most valuable thing you can spend, right? If you're getting a new puppy, invest your time in the dog. You will never be sorry that you did.

This is a true Tale of Two Dogs. It's the tale of my Shiba Inu, Kitsune, and his brother, Bear.

If you and every member of your household is out of the house for 8 hours a day, maybe you should look into adopting an older dog. A dog can't be potty trained on that schedule, let alone learn any manners. By the time most people realize that, they've already got a monster of their own making on their hands.

Many people think this can be worked around via the use of doggy daycares. In some cases, it can. It still requires an investment of time (and a monetary investment, most doggy daycares aren't cheap) on the part of the owner. Why can't someone train a dog for someone else? Because dogs aren't dumb. Just because I can get a dog to listen to me doesn't mean it will listen to a damn thing anyone else says. Dogs, like children, know who they can put one over on and who is going to make them tow a line. They act accordingly.

Don't You Just Want To Take Them All Home? -OR- How To Pick A Puppy

Confession #4. Is it four? I think it's four.. It's been awhile.

Confession #4 or possibly 5: No, I do NOT want to take them all home.

At least once a day, someone asks me this question. Don't you just want to take them all home? I used to just fake a smile and say, "Yeah!" as enthusiastically as I can muster. Just for the sake of the customer. Because I thought, people won't understand if I say no. Then one day, I thought, eff that, I'm just going to be honest. Now I'm sort of in the middle. I'll try to judge if I should be honest or just smile and nod.

How can I possibly NOT want to take them all home?

Because I know myself. I love dogs. But there are some breeds whose traits I could not handle on a full time basis.

Let's take Basset Hounds as an example. Just because there is currently one in the store, and so Basset Hounds are on my mind.

When I say I'm not a Basset person, true Basset people will immediately smile and know why. The traits they have had bred into them since 1561 include a very loud, yodeling voice, the desire to use that voice frequently (very VERY frequently), and a nose that can smell things with such intensity that they never want to stop smelling things.

The noise. The noise of a Basset is incredible. They yodel and bark and howl when they're happy, when they're not happy, when they're excited, when they're bored, to tell you they've found something, and sometimes, I swear, just to hear their own voice. I call the one at the store Elvis not only because he ain't nothin' but a hound dog, and he's cryin' all the time, but also because he just delights in "singing."

When I rub his ears, he grunts. When I'm cleaning his kennel, he howls. When I talk to him, he yodels and murmurs and whimpers and whispers. They make a really interesting range of sounds that you just won't ever hear out of any other breed.

BUT OMFG IT DRIVES ME INSANE. I can tune it out at the store. But if I had to go home and in my free time when I'm relaxing, hear that.. Holy crap, I would be pulling my hair out. I love him now, while he's mine. But I would never, EVER, want one.
I know myself (and Basset Hounds) well enough to know that we can get along great, as long as we go to sleep in separate houses. Some people love the Basset voice. They think it's great. More power to 'em. I love them for it. Me? No.

So it really bothers me when people come in the store looking for a puppy, ask if Bassets bark much, and upon being told they do, say things like, "Well, but they can be trained."

Listen. This dog has been bred to have that loud of a voice and use it all the time for HALF A MILLENIA. There's no training 500 years of selective breeding out of them. It just don't work that way. And this isn't just with Bassets, mind you. I get it every time someone just wants, and expects instant gratification, with regards to a dog.

Sometimes I want to tell people, hey. If you want an exercise in futility, that's fine, go sit on the beach and try to hold the tide back. But don't bring any other living creature into it. Especially not one that's going to suffer when you finally realize your folly.

Because who is going to be the loser in the end? Not the people who weren't honest with themselves about what they can deal with when bringing home a puppy. It'll be the dog. The dog will be out a home, and possibly a life.

I love it when the rare moment comes that a customer says to me, "I really don't know anything about dogs. I know our family wants a dog, but I know nothing about the different breeds and I don't want to just bring anything home. How do I pick out a dog that's right for me?"

I want to jump around and hug them and tell them, "You. You are the greatest thing ever."

Picking out a dog that's right for you is like finding God. You have to be brutally honest with yourself, about yourself. Can you handle the incessant barking of a Basset Hound? Do you have the time and patience to train good ground manners into a dog that's going to be 120 pounds someday? Are you really willing to give up your passion for cute fuzzy rodents in order to have a dog that's been bred to kill them?

Be honest with yourself, and then start looking. And when you find a breed that you think fits you, and that appeals to you, call the first breed specific rescue for that breed, and ask them, "What is the number one reason these dogs get surrendered?" And then ask yourself if you can really handle that. Honestly.

And if what they tell you doesn't sound too bad, then you've got yourself a winner. Congratulations, you've just found a God. Err. Dog.

As for myself. No, I don't want to take them all home. There's a long list of dog breeds I'd love to own, and some surprising individuals of breeds I never thought I'd enjoy who just endear themselves to me while they are with me. (Yorkies, I'm lookin' at you.) But when I think about it, and I'm really honest with myself, even the ones I think I'd love I know better than to bring home. It just wouldn't be fair to THEM.

And there are some dogs I know would work out splendidly for me.. just not right now.

I've waited half my life for an Irish Wolfhound. Someday, I will have one. But the time is not now.